February 2012
1 post
Now.
I’m too tired playing the game. I’ve had enough, believe me. I want no complications, no unnecessary game rules. I want it right here and now where I can see it. No riddles, no hassles.
January 2012
1 post
2012
So, 2011 ended. I survived.
Now what?
December 2011
3 posts
Almost New year
She sits comfortably in the bamboo chair which she assumes the owner might have stole it from somewhere, enjoying the December’s midnight breeze kissing her cheeks. She takes a glimpse from the corner of her eye, watches him awkwardly changing his position. She doesn’t bother. She chooses to imagine about the Bigfoot who lives up on the hill across them.
He sits there, trying to get...
25
You have been waiting your whole life for this day. ‘Prime Time’ was what you always said to everyone about the magic age. You even wrote yourself a letter, from the 17 years old you (or was it 16?) to the 25 years old self. You asked your trusted sister to keep it and give it to you when you turn 25. Where is the letter now? You asked your sister about it just last night. It...
You walked into a supermarket, the next thing you know you found yourself standing there in between instant noodles and cereal sections, starring at the jams for five minutes.
November 2011
11 posts
“You can say the wrong words and still get the result you want and people will say that you’re lucky. But luck can only take you so far. Even destiny can only take you so far. The rest is up to us” - Alexandra Dewi-
Bukan bermaksud untuk tidak bersyukur. Tetapi agaknya untuk waktu yang cukup lama, akan selalu ada yang terasa kosong.
W: Jadi lo gak bikin filem lagi??
N: Nggak
W: Nulis juga nggak??
N: Nggak
W: Dan lo kerja di majalah malah sebagai AE?
N: Iya
W: Sayang bangeeettt!
*bumped into old college classmate at work related event, where he came as journalist from a well known local english newspaper, and I was just accompanying my editor because I was dead bored at the office*
Iya ya.. Kenapa? Kenapa gak bikin filem lagi? Kenapa gak nulis lagi? What the hell am I doing here?
Growing Old Is Not An Excuse
A dear friend of mine told me that as we grow older we stop to care much of those people who don’t want anything to do with you.
True. But I also think, though we may not need to care about those people who obviously don’t want us to be in their life, but as adults I think it’s wise enough to still care about those people who still value our relationships.
Age is not an excuse...
Attachment
Attachment puts weigh on you. It limits your movements, slows down your speed, weaken your power. For that I am grateful that I have nothing chained to me.
Although, it would be nicer to come back home and crawl into the comfort of your arms after 16 hours of work.
I gotta start somewhere, some time.
Everyday I keep telling myself to start writing (again). Sigh. Funny, coz I can’t seem to put my mind to rest not even for a millisecond, and I tell you A LOT is going on up there yet my thoughts and my fingers refuse to cooperate and just bloody type and form it into writings. Another SIGH.
It’s not a surprise that I have serious case of commitment issue. Even to document my own...
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October 2011
1 post
Day 365
Un.con.di.tion.al
[uhn-kuh n-dish-uh-nl]
–adj.
1. not limited by conditions; absolute: an unconditional promise.
2. Math. absolute
July 2011
4 posts
Hari ini sayang, aku akan pulang.
Let me go home. I’ve had my run Baby, I’m done. I gotta go home Let me go home. It will all be all right I’ll be home tonight I’m coming back home
Menjemput Senja
Ia duduk sendiri di teras rumah itu, bertopang dagu. Siang yang senyap, tiada semilir angin. Udara tak mengalir, waktu seakan terhenti.
Ia termanggu sendirian. Beberapa kali Ia membetulkan posisi kopiah-nya, lalu kembali Ia bertopang dagu.
Apakah gerangan yang Ia risaukan?
Ia tersenyum kecil tatkala melihat kucing melintas di hadapan. Lalu Ia kembali terdiam.
Senja telah lama...
5 fool stages
Denial = checked!
Anger = checked!
Bargaining = checked!
Depression = checked!
Acceptance = checked!
Checked! Checked! Checked!!
Then why can’t I let go?
Why can’t I let go?
I’d be much happier if can let go.
June 2011
1 post
March 2011
2 posts
Pak Pram & Doa
Terkenang kembali oleh saya cerita Mas Pram tentang perjalanan pulang dari Buru tahun 1979. Dalam rombongan sekitar 40 orang tahanan yang dianggap diehard oleh penguasa militer Indonesia waktu itu, ia diputar-putar untuk disembungikan dari tatapan mata internasional. Tidak berhasil. Di salah satu tempat di Jawa, dalam perjalanan itu, salah seorang rekannya menegur kenapa Mas Pram tidak sembahyang....
Kemana perginya passion?
February 2011
10 posts
Price to pay.
We’ve lost too many things over this cause, important things. Friends, family, job, money, future.
And the worst part is, we don’t have each other anymore. We’re on our own coping with the losses we have caused.
I begin to think that we’ve lost ourselves too along the way.
But remember, I will always have your back. Always.
“Where are we? What the hell is going...
04:50 AM Babbles
I’ve been lying here in bed since 12 and here I am at 4.30ish, wide awake. In fact, I just fixed myself a supper snack (or a super early breakfast?). I made a sandwich with sauteed mushrooms. You know what? fun fact, that was my first mushroom sandwich ever. I never liked mushroom before. It tasted like iron. Yeah you read it right, Iron. People called me weird because ‘Who...
A: You're a mess. I'm a mess too.
B: So let's clean each other up.
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Top Ten Stewie's Tweets #1
From now on I’m gonna post my top 10 favorite Stewie’s tweets. Why here? Well simply because most of his tweets are too vulgar to retweet. I just don’t want to offend any of my followers’ feelings. So if you, however find it offensive or think his tweets are way too sarcastic, vulgar and harsh, well just bugger off my blog then. *Evil laugh*
(oh btw, all in random...
01:00 AM
When I opened my eyes after God knows how many hours of hibernation, half consciously I whispered desperately “Please God, I don’t want to wake up, ever. Please God”.
That silent whisper has been subconsciously happening for quite a while.
I’m in no business of taking my own life. Trust me. But how I just wish never have to wake up again. Ever.
Everything I Do Leads Me Here
Here’s to all the big fucking heart hero who think that they can do everything on their own. Well I got news for you; You can’t fucking do everything alone!
Men oh men, do they need to be stuck in between a rock and a hard place first to realize their mistake of alienating their loved ones?
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing skeptical toward the character. In fact, I...
You’re an apple! Do you know that?!
Hop On Off A Rabbit Hole
They told us, tigers, that year of the Tiger would be a good year for us.
Well, to me personally, being a tiger in the year of the tiger turned out to be such a tragic year filled with tragedies.
Sigh.
So what will you have for me dear cute rabbit this year? Logically, a cute lil’ rabbit won’t be able to do any harm to a fierce tiger, right?
I mean, you’re aware that I...
LOVE'S A BITCH!
January 2011
30 posts
I is someone else
Torn
Is it not enough that you have broke my heart? Now you have to stomp on it too? I am crawling on the floor, trying to gather piece by piece I have left. And you have to throw that away too?
Go on,
Squeeze it. Stomp on it. Tear it. Rip it.
Over and over again.
1 tag
Randomness #1
Why is it so hard for me to fall asleep?
Reading old, old messages at Friendster’s Inbox is really making me smitten. Remember Friendster?
My boys can be such a bitch sometime.
Oh no, my Friends dvd is scratched!
I love my hair on that picture.
Damn, the uber cool magic shampoo + conditioner is finished! I can’t afford the same brand :( bye bye awesome hair.
Why do I always crave...
“Walau bagaimana carapun, tidak akan bisa mengembalikan seperti bentuk aslinya...”
– Mother
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